Thursday, February 2, 2012

Adiela

Here is a chapter of writing i did today. Pretty soon, if you like it, i'll post some more.




                    CHAPTER ONE: Adiela

        

Japonia was a wild land. Golden, emereld and tin castles emereged from the wide, maple and oak woods. The aroma of fresh pine needles, in which scaterred on the ground and up in the trees, filled the air and covered the golden building of the king and other important towers that were not shadowed above by trees. The population there was not on a sign, therefore, if you wanted to know, you’d have to climb the tall oaks and count the castles. But you couldn’t climb any tree with holes in them. Those were the fairies property. The people who lived there had settled there after the fairies, in which case the fairies had claimed the trees to themselves, and were aloud to keep them that way.  And yes, the same when walking. If you saw a sort of cave with a wooden door on it, sticking out of the ground, you must not walk over it. Those were the homes to the dwarfs. This was very risky because dwarfs were very caprishous, and if were mad, could bite the head off a giant.  But all of them had a good side. At least, when the people first settled in Japonia.  Dwarfs had built the golden, tin and gem plated castles and in return, asked for nothing. Yes, there were lots of magical creatures in Japonia, in which case, you had to be very careful about where you went or touched. All the people loved the magical animals, but not one. The dragons. They were fire breathing, sharp clawing dangerous beasts! Which is why around Japonia there was a tall (taller than a dragon I would hope) golden wall that protected them and kept the dragons out. Every year, the people in Japonia had a dragon hunt when they would send out hunters to kill the dragons. They hoped for the dragons to go extinct.  For the dragons, if they ever did get in, would breath fire on the tin buildings and turn them to rust! And in one of these golden kingdoms, a young girl sat on a velvet stool, twisting her hair, and biting her other strand of hair that was stiff from being twisted. Her name was Adiela. Adiela Veavet. She had a mother, father and a maid, Lucia. In a ruby stall, just passed the river that ran threw the village where the people kept there horses, lived Adielas best friend. Her name was  Hooves. But Hooves was not like any other horse. She was a unicorn. Adiela and her friend who lived in a castle down the road, Pierre, had been walking threw the forest when they found her. They talked, and began to like eachother, (the magic animals could talk) and so Hooves agreed to live with Adiela since she was an orphan. Every time Adiela rode Hooves to visit the king of Japonia, all the other children would ooo and aaahh at the sight of Hooves magical appearance; her shining horn, her glittering tail. That was the only unicorn in the village exept for the kings. King Bartholomew. But, at least thought Adiela, her Hooves was prettier than the king’s old, gray unicorn. But the king was color-blind, so he couldn’t agree with her. Which was very disappointing.
To most people who didn’t live in Adielas village, Japonia was just a fairy tale. To people not in Japonia unicorns and dragons and fairies were just in storie books. When Adielas mother told her this story before bed, Adiela could hardly imagine what her mother explained a dog was.
“It’s a furry kind of four-legged animal who has floppy ears.”  Adiela inturupted her. “It is like a furry fairy? Only, with soft, floppy ears? Do they live in trees?” “No, Adiela. I don’t know exactly what they look like, but I’m sure they are much bigger. Commoners have them as pets. Now it is ten thirty Adiela, and you are only eleven, so get some sleep.” Adiela’s mom took away her milk, and marched her up the stairs. The candles flickered in Adielas room as she blew them out. “Good ni’ ma.” She said, and with that, Adiela was carried to dream land where she would be safe from the dragons.  




Thanks for reading! (sorry it was so long)            

4 comments:

  1. Bella, this is your best story ever. I LOVE it with a capital L. I could imagine everything in my mind as I read it. I felt as if I had really climbed a tree to count the castles. :) This is what I teach my students: to write so that the reader "sees" a movie in their mind. You totally did that. ( better than my sixth graders) I pictured everything and even smelled those pine needles. I can't wait to find out what happens next. I love, love, love, love, love this story. ( and you by the way :)

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  2. Awesome story beginning! You put in a lot of really good details.
    I really like that part about how the king was color-blind.

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  3. Hi Bella, it's Renee, one of my students loves your writing and she may write a comment . Her name is Ellie..she asked me what grade you were in!!!

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